RIP White Van Man

White van man is in danger of falling from his perch as a socially acceptable and respectable figure.

Once they were a symbol of enterprise and progress, now they are driving in the same direction with the hand break firmly applied.

At least, this is the evidence of this morning.

In their hey day of the 1990s would you have ever seen a white van man driving at a top speed of 35mph in a 50 and slowing to a 20mph stroll when they struck a 30 limit? No. But today, two of them were at it.

And to add to their shame they both created a que of traffic that included school-run yummy-mummy, and a taxi driver, with a full tank of fuel. Very strange. There are dark forces at work on the roads of Britain.

Fortunately, traffic reports that pedestrians were lining up in the slip stream for a bold overtaking move proved unfounded.

There is a serious point to be made here though. Some people, the sons and daughters of the nanny state, simply lack the ability to drive. It was inevitable that this disease would spread to the white van brotherhood eventually.

However, as I contemplated lobbying the government to introduce minimum speed limits and impose strict fines on those who failed to ‘get the f*”k on with it’ not one but two old-school white van men took it in turns to use me for target practice.

Slowdriveitus, it seems has yet to spread throughout the species. But the writing is on the wall.